Label Me

Life is always full of choices. But at times your choices are limited. I'm sure you often come across a situation where you are forced to take on a task which you don't feel like it at all. At this point it all comes down to choices.

One, you reject the responsibility and push it to somebody else with the most relevant excuse you can think of (which is always the lamest excuse one can possibly find). The consequences, you will be labeled as "lazy", "anti-social", "arrogant" etc.

Two, you take on the task anyway and decide to make it as simple as possible to minimize your work so that you can concentrate on more important things.

If you don't mess it up, all will be fine. People whom you service get what they want and if some things are not good enough or they're not satisfied with it, they give you "advices" and "suggestions" (read, complaints) to make it better next time. Some (a very small percentage) who appreciate your effort send you a thank you email.

If you somehow mess it up, hell you will be blamed like never before - it will be your whole damn fault. Even a mere two hours delay - because you need to settle some more important things first - will get you labeled as "irresponsible" and "not doing her job". Even if you say OK you're going to do this right now and you just need say, 5 minutes to prepare whatever you need and you're going to start right after 5 minutes. NO! The damage is done, what's labeled is labeled. It's like virginity - once you lose it, it's gone forever.

Whatever you do or don't do, when your name appears in the candidate list for this meaningful, important task, it's going to be a very eventful time of your life. Like I said it all comes down to choices. Do you choose "lazy", "anti-social" and "arrogant" or do you prefer receiving "advices" and "suggestions"?  If these two are still not good enough, you still have "irresponsible" and "not doing her job". It's your call ;)

My Purpose In Life

I've recently read ShinTien's blog post about one's purpose in life. I've cut and paste the article here:

The other day, I had an interesting conversation with a wise friend which revolved around the big question: “What is your purpose in life?”

If asked this question a few years ago, I would have quickly related the answer to be somewhat religious. And being a non-religious person, I was under the impression that I could never be able to give a satisfactory answer. True enough, I did not know the answer. I was so eager to give the right answer that my mind went blank thinking of one. I was intimidated by the question.

When faced with the same question once again a few days ago, I gave it a little thought and suddenly had a eureka moment. Right then and there. I came to the realisation that this question has no right answer, it’s really a question of opinion. I said smiling, “I know it’s a little vague, but my purpose in life is to be happy.”

My friend assured me that my answer was not vague at all. In fact she thought it was very specific. We discussed further and I arrived at some interesting conclusions about myself. Now that I know what my purpose in life is, I started to think about ways in which I could live my life, driven by that specific purpose.

We both acknowledged that the state of being happy is highly subjective to every individual, life situation and most importantly – timing. In my opinion, I will truly be happy when I have contentment in life. In order to be contented, I need to pursue all my “wants” to come to the stage where I could finally say “I am happy now.” Of course I cannot deny the complication of not knowing what I want. I might think I want something, but I wouldn’t really know until I got it. Agree?

Instead of pondering on my doubts, I decided to put things in action now. Well because life is short and I am not there yet! At the present moment, I think I will be happy if I can graduate by year 2012 and start living a life that I enjoy. Well, what kind of life would I enjoy? That’s another story for another post  

For now, I should focus to make this work. When come 2012, I will decide again if I am truly happy or….plan something else. I shall keep doing this until I find contentment in life. This may take me a few years or a lifetime (let’s hope it’s not the latter…). Then, I can be happy.

So tell me, what is your purpose in life…?

I used to asked myself the same question over and over again, in my high school years. There was once I felt really melancholic (I blame myself for being a typical piscean) that I started doubting the existence of the whole universe. I thought that it was pointless that the world existed - the whole damn world. I questioned the existence of God (if there ever was one) and his intentions. I believed that he created the world to watch the sufferings of mankind.

I was about 17 and at that age, thoughts come and go. Backstreet Boys, Jay Chou and Japanese drama series soon occupied my mind. And as I grew older, I realized that the purpose in life can't be given to you by others - you have to define it yourself. I have found mine - to enjoy life. 

The last thing I want, is to be tied up to my career. My career, is merely a stepping stone to earn me an ability to enjoy life. I want to be able to buy the things I like, to go to places I like, to do the things I like (blogging being one of them). And when the time comes, maybe I'll have a family. Why not?

And that, is my purpose in life. ;)

People, stop working OT!!!

Some people work OT for the extra money. They do not finish their assignments on purpose during the normal working hours thus automatically they're entitled to work overtime to get the job done.

Some people work OT because they really can't finish their work on time. Thus they're forced to work extra hours. These people are classified under "inefficient" and they may or may not charge their OT.

Some people work OT because they have no choice. They're given tonnes of work and their workload is twice that they can handle. These people are most probably in a very high position earning God-knows-how-much - either that, or they're working for a China man company.

Some people work OT out of sincerity and diligence. They not only want to get the job done, but they want them done perfectly. And they want to spend their extra (read: personal) time at work to improve their technical knowledge (read: speed up their climb in the career ladder). These people - to me - they have no life.

In the eyes of an employer / boss, those who work OT are those who possess the potential and who will strive for success, regardless of which category they fall under.

How does one impress the boss? Is working extra time the only way?

I look forward to a work-life balance life. Every working day I reach my office at 8:30 am plus minus and I start work after breakfast. I leave office at 6:00 pm plus minus (occasionally at 7:00 pm if I feel like it). I reach home at 6:30 pm provided if the traffic is clear. After dinner and everything it will be about 7:30 pm. I usually get sleepy starting at 10:00 pm, which means, I would have 2.5 hours (or less) of personal time every day (which explains why I've been blogging of "often" nowadays).

No matter how pathetic it sounds, that's life - life of a working adult.

when you have a busy boyfriend...

Moving from a student to a 9-to-5 based working adult, there are things that one needs to adjust and adapt. One major change you will soon notice is that you are going to lose a valuable thing that you never cherish as a student - time. Thus you will have less time to spend with your family, friends and of course, the most important person in your life.

To all the girls out there, if you have (or yet to have) a boyfriend who is as busy as a lazy giant pig, these guidelines are something you may want to refer. I should not say I'm very good at coping with this, but at least I have some experience.

Guide 1 : Have a life of your own

Have your own circle of friends, organize your own activities, go out and have fun! You should know that your world does not revolve around him. You are an independent individual and your job is not to stay home and wait for him to come, to call, to online. It's also important to let him know that you can still survive happily without him.

Guide 2 : Make him feel guilty

When you are a happy young lady it's time to make him feel guilty for dedicating all his time to work. Tell him once in a while (not too often) that he is not spending enough quality time with you but at the same time be understanding and caring. For example, say that "I know you're very busy at work but would you please spare 2 minutes in your day to call me and let me know that you're okay?". This, ladies, will make him melt. Or when he is less busy and actually reply your sms quickly, say this "Dear how come you're so free today? And you actually do reply my messages. I'm so happy I haven't have this kind of luxury for a very long time." Another suggestion is, always provide him something to eat when he comes back from work. When you control his stomach, you control him.

Guide 3 : Drop hints

When he is totally occupied with nourishing his own career and you can't take it any longer, drop hints to him that you need a time-out. For instance, you can forward him emails of air tickets promotion. I find this obvious and clear-cut, as all of you know, boys are insensitive and ignorant thus they can't get vague hints.

Guide 4 : Send him seductive/naughty sms

A friend once suggested to me that I do this. I have never try before, mind you. I repeat, I have NEVER try. Well the key is to send him messages like... I wouldn't want to give examples here but I bet you know what I mean. I heard it's very effective and its power is strong enough to make your boyfriend end up at your doorstep on a weekday night.

Guide 5 : Do not nag

This is a taboo. Guys hate it when you nag. They tend to avoid you and thus spending less time with you. Give him some room. He will come to you when he's ready.

Just remember, even if he spend less time with you, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you anymore. He may be too busy at work, or he may be just needing some space to breathe. Hope that the above guidelines will somehow help you get through this. Good luck!

rules of thumb to avoid being in DEEP SHIT at work

With my 11-month working experience, trust me when I say, the working world is cruel, inhuman, practical, and ferocious. When you're out there, you're on your own. Remember when you were in Standard One your English teacher would make you do corrections for the words that you wrongly spelled in the spelling bee. You would have to rewrite a certain word 10 times, for instance, just so you could remember it and not make the same mistakes. Remember in university/college when you did a calculation for the sizing of a vessel in an assignment and three days later you received it with a big red cross marked over it by your professor, saying that you used the wrong formula. And all you had to lose is a chance of getting an 'A' for this particular assignment and that's it. But when you're working, when you're out there, you're not allowed this kind of luxury. One single tiny mistake, it could make your company lose millions of Ringgits; it could be the end of your career; it could haunt you for the rest of your life.

Thus, it is important to know how not to get yourself into DEEP SHIT as well as how to get yourself out of it. Here are some rules of thumb that I use as my phylosophy while at work. It may not be useful for some, but for people who don't know anybetter, like me, it's a place to start.


Rule 1 : Always consult your direct superior
Do not jump status, i.e. do not directly deal with your boss' boss. Whenever you have questions, or you want to deliver your work, deal with your direct superior first. And whenever there is need to email your colleagues/clients/contractors, always c.c. your superior. This is important so that he keeps track of your progress and so that he can pull or save you out of DEEP SHIT before it's too late, especially if you're a freshie like me.

Rule 2 : Do not simply clear your inbox/outbox
Keep all your corresponding emails with colleagues/clients/contractors/boss. This is so that you can keep a record and also as proof/evidence as to what you were told to do. Also, if your colleague had verbally asked you to make some changes in your work, do insist that he send you an email and c.c. to your boss to make it official.

Rule 3 : Always be in good terms with your colleagues
You're there to work, not to make friends or enemies. Your colleagues, they're neither your friends nor foes. They're just colleagues. Be in good terms with them and it will make your life less miserable. And it wouldn't hurt to go out with them and have some fun once in a while. If there are a group of your colleagues gathering and talking bad behind people's (especially your boss') back, do not join in the conversation, and do not agree or disagree. Just smile and excuse yourself. This may save you from DEEP SHIT.

Rule 4 : Always be busy
Or at least, pretend to be. Your company didn't pay you so that you could chat in MSN, or check your personal emails, or do quizzes in Facebook. If you seriously do not have any work (especially freshies like me), do your own research. You can research about your company, the previous projects, SOP*, and many other technical information. You may not be able to learn up and absorb all of them, but it's at least better than just sitting around and making a bad impression to your boss.
Rule 5 : Ask
Whatever you do not know, ask. This is to avoid making mistakes. If you're told that the questions you ask are stupid or when there is someone refusing to answer your supposingly "stupid" question, do not get upset or put off by these people. Some people may think that they're so smart but no matter, let them think what they want. How they want to think of you is none of your business. So you might as well get on with your life. I'm sure there are other colleagues who are willing to be of help. Go to them instead. In time these people will know that you're not as stupid as they think you are.

Rule 6 : Never reveal about work-related stuff on the Internet
Do not talk about work in your Facebook status, your blog, your MSN status etc. Yes I'm blogging about work, which is why I'm being very careful. Examples of things that you should not mention on the Internet include: colleagues that you hate, bad things about your boss, things that you don't like about the company etc. You'll never know if your boss will be reading it.

There you go. These are what I can think of for the mean time. There are many more things to learn. You are welcome to add any other things or your personal experience in the comments. Good luck!

*SOP - Standard Operating Procedure