When I was a high school kid I used to join these school camping trips. When separating us in groups, they usually put students of the same class in different groups so as to encourage us to mix around. I didn't like it at all. I was quite anti-social (still am) and I wasn't good at talking to strangers (still am not).
I recently joined a graduate team building organized by the company that I'm working with. No matter how I detested the idea of re-living my high school life in this form in particular - I felt that I was too old for it - it was compulsory to join.
I'm not saying that I didn't enjoy it at all - in fact, at some time in some way, I actually did. Though I was often mocked of my childish behavior by my colleagues throughout the whole journey. I admit that I may have gotten a little excited sometimes but I'm actually a very matured being especially when it comes to work.
From previous experiences, I knew that my colleagues (of the same department) and I would most probably be in different groups when playing games or other team building activities. But I didn't mind it - I've grown out of it of course. I mean, I have to say that it was a good opportunity to be able to get to know my colleagues from other departments. I know that I'm the reserved type and it'd definitely take some time for me to open up to the others; and others to me. What I didn't expect was that there were still some people with the "high-school-behavior". The team builders would randomize us by asking us to form a circle and call out numbers (for example from 1 to 5) thus all the ones are in a group; twos in a group; threes in a group and so on and so forth. Two girls, I observed, they purposely stand in the positions so that there would be 4 persons in between them, thus they would be in the same group. I was amazed.
I think that since that you're already there, whether you like it or not, you should just play by the rules. Otherwise, what is the point of being there? I'm not saying that I'm doing the socializing thing really well, but at least I'm trying. I don't think that I've bonded with my colleagues and immediately become close friends with them. But at least I know their faces, I've talked to them before, I've did something with them before and hopefully I remember their names.
Showing posts with label People/Relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label People/Relationship. Show all posts
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Label Me
Life is always full of choices. But at times your choices are limited. I'm sure you often come across a situation where you are forced to take on a task which you don't feel like it at all. At this point it all comes down to choices.
One, you reject the responsibility and push it to somebody else with the most relevant excuse you can think of (which is always the lamest excuse one can possibly find). The consequences, you will be labeled as "lazy", "anti-social", "arrogant" etc.
Two, you take on the task anyway and decide to make it as simple as possible to minimize your work so that you can concentrate on more important things.
If you don't mess it up, all will be fine. People whom you service get what they want and if some things are not good enough or they're not satisfied with it, they give you "advices" and "suggestions" (read, complaints) to make it better next time. Some (a very small percentage) who appreciate your effort send you a thank you email.
If you somehow mess it up, hell you will be blamed like never before - it will be your whole damn fault. Even a mere two hours delay - because you need to settle some more important things first - will get you labeled as "irresponsible" and "not doing her job". Even if you say OK you're going to do this right now and you just need say, 5 minutes to prepare whatever you need and you're going to start right after 5 minutes. NO! The damage is done, what's labeled is labeled. It's like virginity - once you lose it, it's gone forever.
Whatever you do or don't do, when your name appears in the candidate list for this meaningful, important task, it's going to be a very eventful time of your life. Like I said it all comes down to choices. Do you choose "lazy", "anti-social" and "arrogant" or do you prefer receiving "advices" and "suggestions"? If these two are still not good enough, you still have "irresponsible" and "not doing her job". It's your call ;)
One, you reject the responsibility and push it to somebody else with the most relevant excuse you can think of (which is always the lamest excuse one can possibly find). The consequences, you will be labeled as "lazy", "anti-social", "arrogant" etc.
Two, you take on the task anyway and decide to make it as simple as possible to minimize your work so that you can concentrate on more important things.
If you don't mess it up, all will be fine. People whom you service get what they want and if some things are not good enough or they're not satisfied with it, they give you "advices" and "suggestions" (read, complaints) to make it better next time. Some (a very small percentage) who appreciate your effort send you a thank you email.
If you somehow mess it up, hell you will be blamed like never before - it will be your whole damn fault. Even a mere two hours delay - because you need to settle some more important things first - will get you labeled as "irresponsible" and "not doing her job". Even if you say OK you're going to do this right now and you just need say, 5 minutes to prepare whatever you need and you're going to start right after 5 minutes. NO! The damage is done, what's labeled is labeled. It's like virginity - once you lose it, it's gone forever.
Whatever you do or don't do, when your name appears in the candidate list for this meaningful, important task, it's going to be a very eventful time of your life. Like I said it all comes down to choices. Do you choose "lazy", "anti-social" and "arrogant" or do you prefer receiving "advices" and "suggestions"? If these two are still not good enough, you still have "irresponsible" and "not doing her job". It's your call ;)
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I want to be in love =)
我们都是单翅膀的天使，只有拥抱才能飞翔
(We are all angels with a single wing, the only way we can fly is to hold on to each other)
~ Quoted from a song by Gary Chaw ~
I always feel incredibly bad - or rather, guilty - when single people tell me about how they long to be in a relationship, how they long to find the one. And they'd ask me how I met Mr. Chin, how did it started, what romantic things he did to me etc. I'd feel so reluctant to tell them and I'd try so hard to camouflage my happiness. I feel as if I don't deserve him.
They end by saying, "Oh how nice to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. You must be so happy." or "If I have a boyfriend/girlfriend now I wouldn't stay at home chatting on MSN." or "I wonder when will I find mine." I will then tell them to leave it to fate and love will eventually find them, while hoping what I said is true. And I feel more and more guilty simply for being in a relationship.
Some would ask me for tips to get a girl. I always help as far as I could - providing advices, introducing girls to them. Some broke my heart by being hopelessly conservative i.e. desperately wanting to get married for the sake of having children. Some disappointed me by changing their mind every 5 minutes. To date I have not successfully match make any couples.
Sometimes I have to tell them the painful truth - you don't have a sense of humour, you should lose some weight, you are not sensitive enough. Much that I hate to admit, the world is a cruel place. The first impression i.e. the look, is one major thing when it comes to opposite sex attraction.
Being 27 years old this year, the pressure is starting to build up. However desperate we are, it can't really be helped. The one who want me isn't the one I want, the one whom I want doesn't want me. Love is as complicated as it can be. It hurts me when listening to stories like this. I laugh and scold with my girlfriends when they tell me about jerks they met, those who broke their heart, those assholes and losers.
My mom always say you will never know who is your till-death-do-us-part until you're dying on your deathbed. I think it's very true. I sincerely hope all my friends will find their very own happily ever after.
P.S. Recently a friend was happily attached. Congratulations to him and his sweet girlfriend. :)
(We are all angels with a single wing, the only way we can fly is to hold on to each other)
~ Quoted from a song by Gary Chaw ~
I always feel incredibly bad - or rather, guilty - when single people tell me about how they long to be in a relationship, how they long to find the one. And they'd ask me how I met Mr. Chin, how did it started, what romantic things he did to me etc. I'd feel so reluctant to tell them and I'd try so hard to camouflage my happiness. I feel as if I don't deserve him.
They end by saying, "Oh how nice to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. You must be so happy." or "If I have a boyfriend/girlfriend now I wouldn't stay at home chatting on MSN." or "I wonder when will I find mine." I will then tell them to leave it to fate and love will eventually find them, while hoping what I said is true. And I feel more and more guilty simply for being in a relationship.
Some would ask me for tips to get a girl. I always help as far as I could - providing advices, introducing girls to them. Some broke my heart by being hopelessly conservative i.e. desperately wanting to get married for the sake of having children. Some disappointed me by changing their mind every 5 minutes. To date I have not successfully match make any couples.
Sometimes I have to tell them the painful truth - you don't have a sense of humour, you should lose some weight, you are not sensitive enough. Much that I hate to admit, the world is a cruel place. The first impression i.e. the look, is one major thing when it comes to opposite sex attraction.
Being 27 years old this year, the pressure is starting to build up. However desperate we are, it can't really be helped. The one who want me isn't the one I want, the one whom I want doesn't want me. Love is as complicated as it can be. It hurts me when listening to stories like this. I laugh and scold with my girlfriends when they tell me about jerks they met, those who broke their heart, those assholes and losers.
My mom always say you will never know who is your till-death-do-us-part until you're dying on your deathbed. I think it's very true. I sincerely hope all my friends will find their very own happily ever after.
P.S. Recently a friend was happily attached. Congratulations to him and his sweet girlfriend. :)
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
when you have a busy boyfriend...
Moving from a student to a 9-to-5 based working adult, there are things that one needs to adjust and adapt. One major change you will soon notice is that you are going to lose a valuable thing that you never cherish as a student - time. Thus you will have less time to spend with your family, friends and of course, the most important person in your life.
To all the girls out there, if you have (or yet to have) a boyfriend who is as busy as a lazy giant pig, these guidelines are something you may want to refer. I should not say I'm very good at coping with this, but at least I have some experience.
Guide 1 : Have a life of your own
Have your own circle of friends, organize your own activities, go out and have fun! You should know that your world does not revolve around him. You are an independent individual and your job is not to stay home and wait for him to come, to call, to online. It's also important to let him know that you can still survive happily without him.
Guide 2 : Make him feel guilty
When you are a happy young lady it's time to make him feel guilty for dedicating all his time to work. Tell him once in a while (not too often) that he is not spending enough quality time with you but at the same time be understanding and caring. For example, say that "I know you're very busy at work but would you please spare 2 minutes in your day to call me and let me know that you're okay?". This, ladies, will make him melt. Or when he is less busy and actually reply your sms quickly, say this "Dear how come you're so free today? And you actually do reply my messages. I'm so happy I haven't have this kind of luxury for a very long time." Another suggestion is, always provide him something to eat when he comes back from work. When you control his stomach, you control him.
Guide 3 : Drop hints
When he is totally occupied with nourishing his own career and you can't take it any longer, drop hints to him that you need a time-out. For instance, you can forward him emails of air tickets promotion. I find this obvious and clear-cut, as all of you know, boys are insensitive and ignorant thus they can't get vague hints.
Guide 4 : Send him seductive/naughty sms
A friend once suggested to me that I do this. I have never try before, mind you. I repeat, I have NEVER try. Well the key is to send him messages like... I wouldn't want to give examples here but I bet you know what I mean. I heard it's very effective and its power is strong enough to make your boyfriend end up at your doorstep on a weekday night.
Guide 5 : Do not nag
This is a taboo. Guys hate it when you nag. They tend to avoid you and thus spending less time with you. Give him some room. He will come to you when he's ready.
Just remember, even if he spend less time with you, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you anymore. He may be too busy at work, or he may be just needing some space to breathe. Hope that the above guidelines will somehow help you get through this. Good luck!
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