Every day she hopes for a miracle. And at the end of the day she is again and again disappointed. For some reasons she enjoys the disappointment, the sadness and hopelessness. As if that’s the only way she can feel her own existence - that she’s real. As if that’s the only way that can make her happy, in some odd ways. As if she’s addicted to it. No, she is addicted to it. She cries once in a while. She thinks that it’s a blessing that she’s still able to cry. She feels better after that, knowing that she still has emotions. The negative emotions are what remain of her. She knows she will end up in hell.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
She knows she will end up in hell
She knows that she will end up in hell. Eventually she will. She just knows. Her life is a living hell. She sees death in everything. She sees it when she wakes up, when she drives to work, when she eats her regular meals, when she goes to bed at night. She sees so much of death she no longer feels anything. Nothing can make her happy, and she refuses to be happy. She doesn’t allow herself that kind of luxury. Being happy, is overrated. To her, life is just a number of many days to pass by. She yearns for the day when she no longer has to go through life.
Every day she hopes for a miracle. And at the end of the day she is again and again disappointed. For some reasons she enjoys the disappointment, the sadness and hopelessness. As if that’s the only way she can feel her own existence - that she’s real. As if that’s the only way that can make her happy, in some odd ways. As if she’s addicted to it. No, she is addicted to it. She cries once in a while. She thinks that it’s a blessing that she’s still able to cry. She feels better after that, knowing that she still has emotions. The negative emotions are what remain of her. She knows she will end up in hell.
Every day she hopes for a miracle. And at the end of the day she is again and again disappointed. For some reasons she enjoys the disappointment, the sadness and hopelessness. As if that’s the only way she can feel her own existence - that she’s real. As if that’s the only way that can make her happy, in some odd ways. As if she’s addicted to it. No, she is addicted to it. She cries once in a while. She thinks that it’s a blessing that she’s still able to cry. She feels better after that, knowing that she still has emotions. The negative emotions are what remain of her. She knows she will end up in hell.
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6 comments:
Mind is the most powerful thing human can have. It is all about telling oneself what to feel and what not to feel.
The only person that can help her, is she herself. Sadness/depression is part of life. But at one point she needs to pull herself together and start TELLING HERSELF NOW to turn herself around that life is worth living no matter what. Negativity will only push people away. It's sad. But that is reality.
p/s sinners go to hell. those who happen to stray away from divine faith.
If she still feels helpless, perhaps she can seek professional help. It is all for the best. God Bless.
mr. anonymous, some things are easier said than done... perhaps she push ppl away on purpose... perhaps she feels that she doesn't deserve true happiness, thus by doing this it makes her feel better...
things are always easier said than done, always. but people not only saying things, they are doing things as well. things that difficult to be done, is not the excuse of not doing it. those who say it cant be done are usually interrupted by those doing it. climb mount everest is easy to say than done, but still got ppl challenging it. do wat ever you need, if you think it is worth.
zilin, i don't like the way u put it. u make it sounds so easy. u're not her, u won't understand.
(coughing) : Another masterpiece of "death & hell related" posting by Shin LOO...But i'm very certain now that she = not shin loo...so cheers..Haha...cheers!!!
whatever, robinson... thanks =)
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