In Between

I hate it when I'm stucked in between, when I have to be the middle person. Unfortunately, for some mysteriously unknown reasons, I have always play that role my whole life. I was in between my Mom and Dad, between my brother and brother-in-law, between my Mom and sisters etc etc. The reasons that I can NEVER be a successful middle person are that:

1. I do not like to lie.
2. I am not a "two-headed snake" who says different things in front of different person.
3. I cannot take the pressure.
4. I cannot take the blame.

One of the main responsibility of a middle person is to pass messages. And believe me, those messages are nasty. I'd be forced to say means things to people whom I care about. It's difficult.

I was in a similar situation recently. I didn't protest. I guess I was too tired. When I heard the debate from both parties, seemed to me both had their points. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know which side to choose. I always have trouble deciding when it comes to this. When I couldn't take it any longer, I talked to a friend on the phone. I felt both better and worse after that. Better because he was there to share my suffering; worse because of his disapproval. He asked me not to think too much, but...

I guess there are some things in life that can't be helped. Or rather, I'm in a stage where I no longer care, or am too tired to care. I'll just go with the flow.