Sunday, July 6, 2008

friendship vs direct-selling

Are friendships built upon the foundation of direct-selling? This thought had never, ever came across my mind before a friend said it to me. He and a few of my buddies from university are very much into this Amway direct-selling which, according to them, would help them develop their interpersonal skills, build up their confidence, widen their people network etc etc. And most importantly, it would, or could, be their stairway to financial freedom. Despite my bad experience with direct-selling, I do not think that it is a bad idea involving oneself in the Amway business because their main intention is to upgrade themselves, which is a good thing - not putting up so much hope in getting rich through direct-selling.

I've always believed that when they asked me out, it was because they enjoyed my company. There was a time when they asked me to a movie, I told them I was thankful they rescued me from a terrible day in the office.
Actually we asked you out for a reason, one of them said to me, which was when I found out there would be a Amway meeting on that weekend.
But then I managed to convince myself that even if they weren't going to ask me to attend that meeting, they would definitely still asked me out no matter what. In other words, the Amway thingy is not the only (or main) reason we were there. I believed it's true, I still do.

I received a call yesterday morning, which broke my heart entirely. He tried to convince me to join Amway as a member, asking me to support them, said he was asking as a friend. I would be more than happy to do so, emotionally and finanacially (as in the mere RM80 membership fees), had not he said that our friendship is build upon the foundation of direct-selling. To be fair, those are not his exact words, but that's how I interpret it.

He said that if not because they were all members of this Amway thingy, they wouldn't have met once every week on the Monday meetings, they wouldn't have something in common to talk about, and they wouldn't even meet each other. So I should join them this big family so that we can keep in touch. He said it as if it is a good thing, as if it is something to be proud of. I mean, how can you be so proud, when you need direct-selling to bring your friends and you together? How can you be happy, knowing that your friends and you would just ignore each other, get on with your lives and forget about your buddies if Amway does not exist? I was deeply hurt by the things he told me, but i hid my feelings over the phone, pretended that I was perfectly fine, and told him I was happy to help out.

Now that I think about it, I feel so stupid. I was so glad when they asked me out. I was so glad that they remembered me when they have get-togethers. I'd been looking forward to meeting them up consistently, even after graduation. I imagined going for movies or dinners on Friday nights, occasional clubbings on Saturday nights, and some mid-night mamak stall or McD. But now I fear that not being an active member of Amway, I'd eventually be forgotten. (I feel so ridiculous even as I'm writing this. It is the worst excuse anyone can think of to try to convince a person to join direct-selling.)

I worry and fear for the day that I do not have a single friend in my life. The thought of losing you, anyone of you, is unbearable.

7 comments:

shinyin_jocelyn said...

your friend has been blinded by Amway... not only them, in fact many of Amway's 'diciplies' were hugely influenced by this organization... they believed so much in Amway that it's actually scary.. in fact, i've been to one of their meetings before, Amway,.. was pulled there by a total stranger, silly me..
anyways, back to your questions, of course friendship is NOT based on direct selling...... it's on trust and care, and how we make time for each other... i wouldn't pray that my friends would fall sick so i can see them more often, right?? just think about it..

thE gEOgrAphicAlly blind said...

i'm just thinking... they probably have no idea how much impact this whole thing will have on me... he said that i think too much... i dont know whether i'm thinking too much, or their actions memang is with a purpose... i already dont know wat to think...

knitfreak-to-be said...

a fren will be a fren not because of other things, friendship is simple, you enjoy each others' companionship, not to gain something from other party..its just totally wrong--azita

shinyin_jocelyn said...

don't think.. they can memujuk you to join Amway.. but if you already have a decision, friends will not force you.... note: differentiate pujuk and force... what azita said was true, you enjoy each other companionship, you care and trusts.. you do not need direct sales...

auDrey said...

hey shinloo... guess wat?!! u're not the only one. i had frens in uni too trying to persuade me to join amway... since 2nd year in uni!! i manage to turn her down a few times and last friday i just met up wif her and guess wat?!! i'm now an amway member believe it or not! i kinda regret for signing up... not that i wan to increase my down-line but mayb just for the sake of buying some things through member price. till now, i still don't get it... why r they so obsess wif amway?

thE gEOgrAphicAlly blind said...

well yeah, i'm also a amway member now, though i didn't pay them the member fees yet. they said tat i kena robbed, so they'll pay for me first...

sienz said...

actually, u spoke out the feeling that hided deeply in my heart. Since first of my fren ask me to join direct sell, i had told them, i hate the friedship that come with specified purpose. but anyway, i am also member of Amway now. something, u hate it, but u just cant avoid to drop inside the trap.