Untitled

Even if a person doesn't love you the way you want him to, it doesn't mean that he doesn't love you with all he has.

But if you can't feel his love, what is the whole point of it?

A Letter from Me to Myself

Dear Me,

I try my very best to love you. I always do. But sometimes I find it hard to do so.

I wish that you are a lot of things that you are not, and will never be.
I wish that you're more friendly and sociable.
I wish that you're less emotional.
I wish that you're more caring and understanding.
I wish that you're less sensitive and vulnerable.
I wish that you're more simple-minded.
I wish that you're less difficult.
I wish that you're more manageable.
I wish that you're more intelligent.
I wish that you're more beautiful.

I try to make you change for the better. I try to mould you into my ideal, perfect person. But it just seems so difficult. Maybe you refuse to change. I wouldn't know.

(I understand that I'm not that kind of person you'd wish that I am, either. But I always tend to overlook that.)

If you're not what I wish you are, will I still be able to love you? Unconditionally?

Perhaps I can. Maybe I can't. I hope that I can. What would I be without you? I'd be an empty shell.

All I ask in return, is for you to love me for who I am and am not; and bear with me, for the things that I did and did not do; for what I have and do not have; for the words I said and did not say.

You can hate me sometimes, and I can hate you. But behind every harsh word, every accusing stare, every cold gesture, I hope you know that there is always a thing called love.

I truly believe that we'll be together for a very long time. Till death do us part. On second thought, maybe even death can't do us part. ;)

This is my first and also last love letter to you, because I trust that after you've read this, we'll have mutual understanding about each other, as if you are inside of me, and I am inside of you. Please do not doubt that I will love you with all my heart, always had and always will.

Love,
Myself

15Malaysia

This morning Shin Tien recommended me to watch the videos of 15Malaysia. 15Malaysia, a short film project, consists of 15 short films made by 15 talented local filmmakers, including Yasmin Ahmad and Namawee. I thought I'd share it with you people. Only two videos were released so far. I've watched them and they're pretty good. Looking forward to view the rest.

View the videos here. Enjoy. =)

Perhentian Island - Final Day

Final Day. Breakfast was French toast. =)

One thing about Malay French toast is they add salt instead of sugar. I'd prefer sweet ones actually.

Served with coffee and tea.

After breakfast we didn't have much time left except to finish packing and feeding the fish for 10 minutes. We were supposed to gather at 10:00a.m. to wait for the speedboat that will fetch us back to the mainland.

While waiting we had a monkey to keep us entertained. =)

A little ang mo girl playing with the monkey.


Finally the boat was here. Bye bye monkey, bye bye Perhentian.

This time the boat ride was not as scary as before. Because I had cleverly chosen the seat at the back in the middle. So that I don't feel as if I'll get thrown off the boat any minute.

After over an hour of car ride we had once again reached the Kota Bharu Airport.

Upon our arrival to the civilized world, Mr. Chin was as busy as ever, catching up with the latest news about English Premier League and in particular, the Manchester United, and enjoying his KFC.

And also picking up calls from work.

And calls...

More calls...

Luckily there was no signal in Perhentian Island. Or else we'd be spending more time on the phone than in the water. ;)

There was a small incident while we queued up before boarding the plane. An elderly man who stood in front of me fainted. I don't know if he had a stroke or what but he just fell right in front of us. I saw his eyes were wide opened. His wife was like, "Kenapa ni? Kenapa ni? (What's wrong? What's wrong?)" A kind Chinese lady shouted for a doctor while an ang mo exclaimed that we should clear his airway. And the rest of us just watched helplessly. The man was still lying down on his back when we left for the plane. I sure hope he was okay.


Bye bye, Kota Bharu.

Breakdown of the total expenses for this trip are as of below:

Package (include snorkeling trips, gears, accommodation and meals) = RM 320 per person

Land transfer (car ride) = RM 50 per person

Marine Park entrace fees = RM 5 per person

AirAsia flight = RM 139 per person

All came up to a total of RM 514 per person. =)

Perhentian Island - Day 2 Part 2

我们身处在现在，遥望的却是过去。 (We are at the present, but what we're looking at is the past.)

Dinner was again, prepared for only the two of us. When asked why wasn't there a buffet style dinner as previous night, the resort staff told us that we were the only ones who bought the all-in-package (accommodation, 3 meals a day and snorkeling boat trips) that day and the rest of the customers had went home.

"Tak kan nak hidang buffet untuk dua orang. (Not that we will serve buffet for just two pax.)" The resort staff looked at us as if we were nuts. Oh well, the reason we asked this stupid question was we had a different experience in Redang Island. We were served buffet for every meal and everyone there had the all-in-package. Once again proved that Mr. Chin and I were the only locals in the resort since ang mo do not usually go for packages because 1) the "a la carte" is affordable to them; and 2) unlike Asians, they prefer free-and-easy.

Anyway, dinner was just okay. I'd prefer the lunch we had on Day 1. We had tom yam soup (too spicy for my delight but tasted superb), kangkung belacan (which Mr. Chin hated, thus all went into my stomach, though too spicy for my delight either), and some chicken cooked with mysterious spices (which I thought tasted weird, thus all went into Mr. Chin's stomach).

The patch of yellow stuff on the plate was the chicken with strange spices.


Oh yeah, and I managed to capture the menu which looked expensive. Roti Canai with curry sauce cost RM 4 ??? That's like... 4 times the price in the mainland. Like I said, only the ang mo can afford.

After dinner, we went on for our quest to hunt blue sand without much delay. Determined not to repeat the same mistake as of Day 1, we dashed back to fetch the torchlights without as much as laying our eyes on the ever so tempting bed.

For those who do not know what is blue sand, I googled it up and found the explanation on redangisland.com, extracted as of below:

Bioluminescent Ostracods (also know as Firefleas/Sea firefly) found at front beach of Redang Reef Resort, the guide call as blue sand. Ostracods are microscopic crustaceans, typically 0.2 mm to 2 mm long but are readily fossilised and can occur in enormous numbers in some sediments. Ostracods inhabit in aquatic environment use bioluminescence during mating where the males will attract females to them. Males ostracods flash in a sequence as they swim to attract females. Bioluminescence is blue colour because all colors of light do not transmit equally through ocean water, so if the purpose of bioluminescence is to provide a signal that is detected by other organisms, then it is important that the light be transmitted through seawater. Blue light transmits best through seawater.

Despite our effort, our search was a failure. The snorkeling guide told us that it depends on our luck whether we see it or not. It doesn't appear every night.

As if a consolation prize for us, we discovered a trail along the beach to the other part of the island. It was only accessible at night, during the ebb of the tide. We had a long walk (almost 1.5 hours) to the other end where there were a pub/lounge, another resort with chalets and its restaurant/cafe.

"我们身处在现在，遥望的却是过去。(We are at the present, but what we're looking at is the past.)"

By the time we got back I was half dead from exhaustion. This pretty much ended our second night in Perhentian Island.

To be continued...

Perhentian Island - Day 2 Part 1

The next morning, breakfast was buffet style. There wasn't much left by the time we got to the cafe.

Fried kuey teow, french toast, and keropok ikan (fish cracker). Doesn't really look appetizing, I know.

But Mr. Chin was gobbling it down.

Having breakfast while listening to the waves. It was a nice feeling. =) Despite the sunblock I applied, I had a light sunburn.

We were told to wait for our snorkelling guide at about 1p.m. so we didn't want to have heavy lunch that day. When we told the resort staff that we didn't want lunch at all, he was kind enough to offer to pack us tuna sandwiches. We were surprised to find them with french fries. Yummy!!! =)

While waiting by the beach with our snorkelling gears, we noticed there were many ang mo (Caucasians) in Perhentian Island and hardly any locals at all. Too bad none of them went skinny-dipping. =P

They seemed very relaxed, reading books, sunbathing, swimming, talking... I was watching as they go by their activities. They seemed so... slow. For instance there was one girl packing up her book, clothes and towel. It took her 15 minutes to finish packing. I mean, if I were her I'd finish it in... 10 seconds... maybe less. What I'm saying is, living in the city had mould us into some fast-paced robots and all we have in mind is money and career. We hardly stop and smell the flowers (somebody said this, I don't remember who... who?).

I told Mr. Chin about my thoughts and we agreed that we should do it too. We should do everything slowly. He later proved that he's better at this than I am. ;)

The second snorkelling trip begins at about 2p.m. It was a different group this time, only four of us - Mr. Chin and I, and two other girls. This time we were going to Rawa and Susu Dara Island. As I said I didn't take any pictures during snorkelling trip. But Mr. Chin managed to take a photo on our way back the next day. So, here's how the two islands look like.

First stop was Rawa Island. The water was crystal clear, even clearer than that of Perhentian Island. And the best is we parked the boat right beside the beach. So we could actually rest a little on solid ground when we got tired.

The next stop was around Susu Dara Island. The water there were very shallow and we could see all kinds of corals and kerang. They were beautiful beyond what I can describe.

The last stop was at the Moongun lighthouse. The current there were heavy and the only way I could move was to go with the flow. And there was nothing much to see. Before I knew it I was very far from the boat and the tour guide had to tow me back. Hehe...

That pretty much ended our second snorkelling trip, which was much more fun than the first one. The water was clearer and I really enjoyed looking at the corals and kerang. And the best thing is we didn't have to rush for nothing just because some people (majority of them) don't enjoy the snorkelling trip.

To be continue...

Perhentian Island - Day 1 Part 2

After the first snorkelling trip we went back to our chalet to freshen up. Mr. Chin was trying to pretend to be intellectual.


As much as we feel like taking a nap, it still seemed like the wrong thing to do. So we decided to take a walk along the beach before dinner.


The water around Flora Bay Resort was not as clear as around the snorkelling area.


The water became slightly murky because the waves brought up the sand.


Inspired by Yasmin Ahmad's Sepet. Hehe... Actually it was Mr. Chin's idea.

A cat at the beach. We were wondering how did the cat ever got here. I mean, can he swim? If he lives here long enough, can he learn to swim?

We even brought some bread to feed the fishes. I tried to capture them using my 3.2 megapixel antique but to no avail.

The white speck is the bread crumb I threw. The fishes could really swim fast. One moment it was there, the next it was gone.

That's a... erm... a dead coral if I'm not mistaken...

Dinner was barbeque chicken, sausages, sotong, etc in buffet style. I was glad I didn't have to cook the food myself and get my hands dirty, but the food was terrible, which was why I had totally no intention of taking photos of.

The initial plan after dinner was to go back to the chalet to rest for a while and fetch the torch lights, then we would come out to look for blue sand. It was only about 8p.m. after all. But when two lazy people go for a vacation, you can expect what would happen. Yes, you guessed it right. We slept at 9p.m., totally forgetting about blue sand and the beach and all. I did subconsciously recall Mr. Chin mumbling something about "don't sleep" and "blue sand". But he was snoring like a pig seconds after he said that.

So yeah... That kind of ended our first night in Perhentian Island.

To be continue...

Perhentian Island - Day 1 Part 1

The long-awaited moment had finally arrived. I was going to Perhentian Island after all. Many issues arised during the planning stage of this trip. We took the 3 days 2 nights Perhentian, Rawa and Susu Dara Island trip from Ocean Island Travel & Tour. There was the whole re-schedule thingy and re-booking of air tickets and all. Finally, we had overcome all obstacles and were on our way to Perhentian Island!!!

The flight was at 0740, meaning we had to be awake at approximately 0430, so that we can travel by car for over 1 hour and be at LCCT about 1.5 hours before the schedule. I had never been awake this early for God-knows-how-many-years. And I had difficulty sleeping the night before due to... excitement I guess... I don't know. But hey, I'm going on a vacation!!! It's definitely worth the suffering.

The sun was just about to rise by the time we boarded the plane.

Clear sky all the way to Kota Bharu, Kelantan. =)

The journey took about 55 minutes. Couldn't sleep a wink on the plane, as usual. Good thing it was a short flight. We reached the top of Kelantan state at 0835.

Upon reaching the Sultan Ismail Petra Airport, I immediately received a phone call from Mr. Hoo, the van driver who was supposed to pick us up from the airport to Kuala Besut Jetty. Good service, I thought, and punctual. Quite satisfied with my choice of travel agency.

The bumpy car ride took about 1.5 hours along narrow, single lane roads passing by kampung houses, coconut trees and crops that I can't tell the differences one from another.

Breakfast at a kopitiam near Kuala Besut Jetty. Erm... second breakfast actually. We had McDonald's at LCCT. But to hell with it... We had toast bread and half-cooked eggs but only managed to take the picture of the bread because the rest had been gobbled up by Mr. Chin. The one bite at the corner of the bread is by me, though, before remembering that I should be a responsible blogger and take as many pictures as I can.

The Kuala Besut Jetty.

There was a dead rat in the water near the Jetty. How disgusting... >.<

The speedboat would bring us across the sea towards Perhentian Island. There was about 17 of us, including 2 tour guides on the boat and I was sititng at the bow.

Bye bye, mainland...

Okay, at the beginning of the speedboat ride, it was good. But as the boat sped up and the waves high, it was SCARY!!! It was like a roller coaster ride. And I HATE roller coasters!!! I was practially closing my eyes the whole journey and praying that I don't get thrown off the boat (though I knew pretty well that I won't, but the fear is what I can't get rid of) with one hand squeezing hard Mr. Chin's and another holding tight on the railing, until my fingers got numb. And I was sitting at the bow, for heaven's sake, and totally freaking out. And the fact that the others were not as scared as I was (some were actually enjoying), totally pissed me off. That was the longest 30 minutes of my life.

I had totally no idea how did I manage during my first boat ride to Redang Island, but it was a bigger boat, and I was sitting down on the floorboard at the bow thus the railing was higher than my head. I guess that's why I wasn't as scared.

Upon arriving at Flora Bay Resort, what greeted us were...

A beautiful beach...

Nice, neat accomodation...

And lunch!!! Surprisingly it was not buffet. It was especially cooked for just the two of us. Fried rice, fried sotong, fried egg with onion, and fruits (not shown in picture). It was rather good, I must say, especially the fried sotong. It was a shame that we weren't really hungry that time due to the heavy double breakfasts we had. And we dare not eat that much because we were to go on a snokelling trip 1 hour later.

After the meal I was determined to examine the chalet and get settled down. I was rather worried that the room would not be as clean as I want it to be due to the cheap bargain. The first thing I checked was the bed. Hmm... pretty good. Clean, at least, and sand-less. No air-conditioning, only fan, but we can manage.

Second, the bathroom. Erm... a little under my expectation but still okay. Clean, at least, and fully-equipped.

The shower and wash basin. No water heater, but we can manage.


The mirror and cupboard, and a door leading to the balcony. Moderately satisfied. =.=

Nice view from the balcony.

From now on there will be no pictures to show. =( Due to my 3.2 megapixel Olympus antique that is not water resistant. (Am determined to get a new camera!!!) Thus, my fellow readers, you've got to use your imagination.

The first snorkelling trip consisted of about 15 of us, with 2 tour guides. At first we went to a beach to learn to wear the mask and life jacket and get used a little bit. After the warming up, we went to Coral View Coral Garden, whatever that is. There were corals, no doubt. And there were also Bum Head Fish, the tour guide said, if we were lucky we could spot them. But I like to call them Big Head Fish.

So I was snorkelling without bothering to lift my head to the surface with Mr. Chin guiding me (cause I can't swim and thus can't control where I go in the water). Suddenly there it was, the fish's head was so big. It saw us and swam away. We followed it for a while and again we saw... 3 or 4 of them. The biggest one was like... 1 meter in length. And hell, they were ugly.

When I lifted my head on the surface I noticed that we were far away from the crowd and the boats. I thought it better if we go back a little. And when we were near we could see that all of our fellow boat-mates were already onboard and the tour guide was signalling for us to go back. I was like... what? We were only in the water for... 30 minutes tops. Why the hell are those people back so quickly? We hurried back nevertheless. When I climbed on the boat, 13 pairs of angry stares were on me making me feel as if I were the biggest criminal alive. They had probably waited for quite some time.

Anyhow, the trip continued. Second stop was at Mango Beach, turtle watching. This time only half of the people went into the water. From the way the speak they were actually bored by this trip and couldn't wait to get back. Hmm... weird. I only saw like... 5 seconds of the turtle before it sped off, frightened by so many of us. What a shame... The tour guide offered to look for another turtle but was taken aback by the unenthusiastic group of people, especially the girls who can't swim. Afraid of being in the water, I guess. Looking at them I'm quite proud of myself. I mean, I was totally frightened, not being able to swim, to move at will in the water, to be in control. It's a very terrifying feeling. But I could still force myself to take that step.

Anyway, we went to look for shark at the next stop. Following the tour guide, I saw a shark about 1 meter in length, with a small fish sticking at its belly. Erm... don't know what you call that... First time saw a shark, wondered why it never eat us, like the movie Jaws. Hehe...

Next, fish-feeding, with disgusting fungus-filled bread. Well the fishes are gonna eat them, not me. I had always like this fish-feeding activity since my first experience in Redang. So, yeah I had fun. Although not as much fun as I expected with all the people on the boats throwing bread crumbs into the water instead of joining us. And it was also not a lot of fun when in the midst of feeding happy fishes, some idiot jumped in from the boat (instead of slowly climb in from the ladder) causing a huge splash that scared the happy fishes away.

Last stop was at Air Berani freshwater pool. Basically it was just a beach with spring water coming out from... erm... somewhere... The water was freezing cold. Rambutans were provided by the tour guide. Hehe...

That ended our first snorkelling trip.

To be continued...