Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I want to be in love =)

我们都是单翅膀的天使,只有拥抱才能飞翔
(We are all angels with a single wing, the only way we can fly is to hold on to each other)
~ Quoted from a song by Gary Chaw ~

I always feel incredibly bad - or rather, guilty - when single people tell me about how they long to be in a relationship, how they long to find the one. And they'd ask me how I met Mr. Chin, how did it started, what romantic things he did to me etc. I'd feel so reluctant to tell them and I'd try so hard to camouflage my happiness. I feel as if I don't deserve him.

They end by saying, "Oh how nice to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. You must be so happy." or "If I have a boyfriend/girlfriend now I wouldn't stay at home chatting on MSN." or "I wonder when will I find mine." I will then tell them to leave it to fate and love will eventually find them, while hoping what I said is true. And I feel more and more guilty simply for being in a relationship.

Some would ask me for tips to get a girl. I always help as far as I could - providing advices, introducing girls to them. Some broke my heart by being hopelessly conservative i.e. desperately wanting to get married for the sake of having children. Some disappointed me by changing their mind every 5 minutes. To date I have not successfully match make any couples.

Sometimes I have to tell them the painful truth - you don't have a sense of humour, you should lose some weight, you are not sensitive enough. Much that I hate to admit, the world is a cruel place. The first impression i.e. the look, is one major thing when it comes to opposite sex attraction.

Being 27 years old this year, the pressure is starting to build up. However desperate we are, it can't really be helped. The one who want me isn't the one I want, the one whom I want doesn't want me. Love is as complicated as it can be. It hurts me when listening to stories like this. I laugh and scold with my girlfriends when they tell me about jerks they met, those who broke their heart, those assholes and losers.

My mom always say you will never know who is your till-death-do-us-part until you're dying on your deathbed. I think it's very true. I sincerely hope all my friends will find their very own happily ever after.

P.S. Recently a friend was happily attached. Congratulations to him and his sweet girlfriend. :)

7 comments:

wykay said...

If you have the one you love.. you are lucky!!
If you have the one love you... you are even luckier!!
If you have the one you love and also love you... you are most lucky!!
For me... 被爱比爱人更加幸福...
Anyway, love if for us to find it out throughout our life... and as your mum said... you will never know until the "right time" has come... and you have only 1 "right time" in every life... some people may be have 2... :)

tienunscripted said...

very wise words from your mom! how can we knw until we are dying right...?
hmmm.....
but i agree with u....go with the flow....

Anonymous said...

"The one who want me isn't the one I want, the one whom I want doesn't want me."
This is only truth for girls....for guys have more option to chooce right?
thus, guys always have the the one who wants him but only apply at younger ages and not desperate to marry.

thE gEOgrAphicAlly blind said...

Yong Kai, :)

Tien, :)

Anonymous, disagree. That statement should be applicable to both guys and girls. You think girls are like always available? Whenever you want can just pick one from the street?

tienunscripted said...

i think guys have more "options" not because girls are available. its just that they are not as emotional or "picky" as girls. or more "cincai" the way we put it.... when a guy tells u he loves u, its not that u are the ONE, its just that u are the one who happens to be there at the time he was looking! sadly unromantic but true....

MODERN ROBINSON CRUSOE said...

Why u feel u don't deserve Mr chin?
I dun know u r match-maker in real life - Must be happy hor if successful matching but any tangible rewards LOL

Intangible rewards are satisfaction & happiness

Lastly, i agree love is complicated one

thE gEOgrAphicAlly blind said...

Tien, but I know many single guys. And guys who have been chasing a girl for years but remain unsuccessful.

Robinson, I just think a person like me don't deserve someone like him. ;)