I want to be in love =)

我们都是单翅膀的天使，只有拥抱才能飞翔
(We are all angels with a single wing, the only way we can fly is to hold on to each other)
~ Quoted from a song by Gary Chaw ~

I always feel incredibly bad - or rather, guilty - when single people tell me about how they long to be in a relationship, how they long to find the one. And they'd ask me how I met Mr. Chin, how did it started, what romantic things he did to me etc. I'd feel so reluctant to tell them and I'd try so hard to camouflage my happiness. I feel as if I don't deserve him.

They end by saying, "Oh how nice to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. You must be so happy." or "If I have a boyfriend/girlfriend now I wouldn't stay at home chatting on MSN." or "I wonder when will I find mine." I will then tell them to leave it to fate and love will eventually find them, while hoping what I said is true. And I feel more and more guilty simply for being in a relationship.

Some would ask me for tips to get a girl. I always help as far as I could - providing advices, introducing girls to them. Some broke my heart by being hopelessly conservative i.e. desperately wanting to get married for the sake of having children. Some disappointed me by changing their mind every 5 minutes. To date I have not successfully match make any couples.

Sometimes I have to tell them the painful truth - you don't have a sense of humour, you should lose some weight, you are not sensitive enough. Much that I hate to admit, the world is a cruel place. The first impression i.e. the look, is one major thing when it comes to opposite sex attraction.

Being 27 years old this year, the pressure is starting to build up. However desperate we are, it can't really be helped. The one who want me isn't the one I want, the one whom I want doesn't want me. Love is as complicated as it can be. It hurts me when listening to stories like this. I laugh and scold with my girlfriends when they tell me about jerks they met, those who broke their heart, those assholes and losers.

My mom always say you will never know who is your till-death-do-us-part until you're dying on your deathbed. I think it's very true. I sincerely hope all my friends will find their very own happily ever after.

P.S. Recently a friend was happily attached. Congratulations to him and his sweet girlfriend. :)